2002-01-23 Bored Really bored.... Wednesday, one of the worst days of the week... I have school from 8 to 11 am. After that : Nothing! Nothing to do, just sitting around, mostly in front of the PC, waiting for Nic to call....He only have classes on tuesday and thursday, so that leaves him pretty free the rest of the week. And he doesn't have a job right now... But I think today he was supposed to see his mother so maybe that's why he's calling... I shouldn't do that...wait for him... I should have better things to do. Tonight I think I'll see my friends, maybe go out a little, have a coffee... Things I'm not doing these days because I stay home daydreamin about Nic and waiting for his calls. Any way tonight there's this show on tv and I don't wanna miss it, so if I go out, I must be home for 9pm... What an absolutly entertaining life I've got!! I used to be all places at the same time. I used to have so many things to do...I really need a job. That would be helping a lot (to kill time I mean) Or maybe what I need is someone....a new b/f or g/f,... But I can't see myself with someone right now The other day I said that I was ok with the friendship thing but I realized I'm not! Yesterday, Nic was givin me a ride back home, and we were talkin in the car. I don't know what we were talkin about, but he told me his ex has called him last week... And then I just started feelin really bad and really stressed, and I realized: Ok that's it I really am NOT his friend. Shit I love him! That's weird, he told me she called sometime around thursday or friday. But I don't know why he waited until yesterday to tell me....since weve been together everyday this weekend. And, also...we still haven't talk about us. I know I said that I was goin to wait until today and then, I'd tell him I don't wanna see him anymore but...I can't!!! I just can't! I don't want to stop seeing him! :( ..... That's bad.... I'm just sick!
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