2002-02-18 About Valentine's Day Ok I just realize that I haven't talked about last thursday at all. Wednesday night I was with Nic and we were talking about valentine's day and he asked me if I wanted him to be my valentine. At the time, I really didn't know what he was talking about so I turned it into a joke to try to avoid the subject, but seriously I really was wondering what was that all about. Thursday, I got the impulse to make it clear so I drove to his house and asked him if he still wanted to be my valentine. He was, I must say, really surprised. He asked me what I thought it meant, and I asked him the same thing since he was the one who made the offer in the first place. So he told me that: "OK, I think that we are still really comfortable together, and we're having fun and stuff, you still mean a lot to me, and I know that you think about the same thing about me..." I nod, yes this is true he means a lot to me... "...but right now I don't want to be in any relationship, not just with you but with anyone...if I wanted to be with someone you'd be the first to know about it" OK so that was about what he told me. We spent the night together, dinner and a movie and then I drove back home. I must admit that I was quite happy with his answer, because I don't think I want to be in a relationship either. So this is ok for now. Saturday we were out of town and we were in a hot tub at the gym and he still repeated that he didn't want to have someone (a girlfriend). But he told me that the day one of us start seein someone new, we will have to stop this thing.... I know it and I knew it all along, that was one of the reasons I didn't want to start this relationship with him. The day it'll happen it will be bad. I'm gonna miss him so much. But how can you be friend with someone you never had a real normal friendship with? I don't think it's possible...
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