2002-03-02 Abandonned I really feel bad today.... It all began yesterday night...I was with Stef and Nic called me. He asked what I was doin later and told me that he was goin to Patrick's and he'd call after to hang out. At 10pm he called me back and He says: Well I'm goin out downtown but we could see each other afterwards, I'm gonna pick you up and you'll sleep over... I said ok call me back at the end of the night.BUT. He never called me back, I stayed up all night waiting for his call and when I finally got to sleep (at 5am) he hasn't called... I thought: wow I'm gonna kill that bastard, he must have meet a girl and completly forgot about me... He called me today and said he was sorry but he came home at 4am and he thought it was too late to call. Maybe...Maybe he was right it WAS a little late to call, but I would have appreciate it any way... I was really upset when he called this afternoon and I speak to him with the most "icy" voice i could. Later I got my normal mood on ( but, hey, what's normal?)I called him back. I wanted to see him, after all, up to today I did nothin of my week end. But he was goin to see his friend, and said maybe we could hang out tomorrow. Huh, I'm working tomorrow I do the 9 to 4pm shift, and for that reason I'll have to go to bed early tonight. So doing something in the afternoon and early evening was really my only option. Any way, he finished by saying that he'd call me back if he wasn't doin anything with his friend. So, I don't think he'll call me back today. But this is crap! I mean, what am I? Am I the little stupid girl who waits for him all day and night, all weekend?? I'm sorry but I can't accept that! Sometimes I wish I had never met him. April 7th it's gonna be our meeting anniversary, April 16th was our anniversary. Wow 2 years already! And April 22nd is the day he'll move out of town. This is coming up soon....I don't know what I'll do. But it can't be as bad as it is now...I wish things would be different..I wish we had never broken up. But you have to accept things that happen in your life, no? Now I rest my head from such an endless dreary time A time of hopes and happiness that had you on my mind Those days are gone and now it seems As if I get some rest Now and then and I'll see you again And it puts my heart to test So when are all my problems going to end? I'm understanding now that we are only friends To this day I'm asking why I still think about you As the days go on and I wonder will this ever end? I find it hard to keep control when you're with your boyfriend I do not mind if all I am is just a friend to you But all I want to know right now is If you think about me, too...? Green day - Paper lanterns
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