2003-02-07 Jeff part two Ok I have to write this down so I wont forget any of it. It's past 2am so forgive me if my english is a little wierd. I went out with Max for Nick's birthday (if you haven't read the last entry go read it, because you won't understand what I'm talking about) We went to a bar near their street (because, yes, they all live on the same street). At first, there was only me Max, Val, Nick, his girlfriend and Marie-Claude. They said that they left Eric (Val's brother) with Jeff and Fred because Fred has been kicked out of the bar and he can't go there anymore. (moron...) Anyway, I was relieved when I saw Eric arriving alone at the bar about an hour later. I was happy to see them all, because it's been such long time. Later, Eric got a call on his cell: it was Fred or Jeff who wanted to know if the manager was there, because if he wasn't then, Fred could come. It seemed like they really wanted to come. About an hour later, I saw Fred coming in and then I saw Jeff. I admit I freaked out a little bit. I felt so uncomfortable, I didn't know what to do, so I ignored him. Val came to me, and to him to try to convince either of us to talk to the other one. Finally, I don't know how she did it, but she convinced me and I went to talk to him. It was strange. He asked me why I was so mad against him and I explained it to him. Then he told me that Val said to him, that I only came to the bar to see him, which is so untrue. I explained to him why I came and he seemed a little disapointed but he tried to hide it. Maybe he didn't believe me I don't know. He told me a few things about how I ignored him a few times in the past (and I must say that I don't remember any of those but it could be true. I cannot remember every time I tried to not talk to him). Then it was the big question. He asked me, and he looked really embarassed, if he been that bad with me, when we were together. And it was the first time in my life, I talked to him normally, without crying and being totally honest. I told him that I've been happy with him but that he also had been a real jerk with me a lot of times. He seemed like he was feeling bad about it, but I know him and I know that I cannot always trust him on what he seems to be feeling. Anyway, while I was talking to him, Fred came by and told me in the worst drunken voice ever : "You are a really severe girl. You look really really really severe." To which I answered: "You are a really drunken guy" What an idiot. Just after that, he went to Jeff and told him that they needed to go. I don't know why but they went outside and Fred must have said something really convincing to Jeff because he walked back in, took his coat and left. Val asked me later how it went, I told her and explained to her why I didn't want to talk to him in the first place: we are always discussing the same old things! It's been 4 years already!!! Enough! Apparently when Eric told Jeff that I was supposed to be there tonight, he looked happy and said that he wanted to see me. I think he will never change. Our relationship will never be anything else than talking and arguing about the past. What a waster of time! And to think that it took me one year to get over that guy! I'm only hoping that he won't try to call me or to see me because I don't want him to be a part of my life. I don't need him.
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