2002-07-04 Nightmares Don't you just hate having nightmares all night long? I am so tired today, I had two nightmares last night. Both of them woke me up and I had a real trouble getting back to sleep... I think I'M losing my mind a little each day... Last week end was perfect, I was feeling happy for once, really happy. But now, again, I feel really depressed, and all that for a tiny detail. WEll yes, it has something to do with Nic again, and I don't know why I'm making such a big deal out of it... He found himself a new hobby. He goes at caramail.com and chat with people. Nothing much here, I know. The problem is that he, like me, is working this summer, and he spend all is WORK time there! Yesterday, he was there all afternoon! First he said that people were weird on the net and that he was finding it amusing to talk with them;he was making fun of them.(I'm not saying that it is a good thing to do...) But I don't think you'd spend a week just making fun of people...! Ok so maybe I'm jealous, maybe I'm afraid he'll meet someone online (crazy idea, I think). But I don't know...Up until yesterday, he wanted me to come to TR next week end, but yesterday he told me: Finaly I'm going to Quebec city this week end. Ok I should be happy that he's coming and I don't have to drive all the way up there...but I just don't understand why he changed his mind so quickly. Hey look at me, I'm an obsessive compulsive, and I'm jealous also. Our relationship is changing...sometimes it's ok, like it always was, but some other times...I don't know...something is happening, I don't know what and I don't like it! When he first moved out, he was writing me emails everyday, lots of emails per day. After, it was the phone calls. At least two phone calls each day, but now... he still calls, but we talk less longer...And I can't talk that much during the day, I've got work to do...Seems to me like he don't have work because he can spend his days on the net.... Any way, I guess I'm just overreacting, once again...
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