Friday night, alone in my room, thinking I should have stayed in school this afternoon and tried to plan something to do tonight with PL... Now I'm alone telling myself I should have. I hate telling myself that. If I only had his telephone number... I don't know what I'll do with him. I mean, I'm still seeing Nic so what am I supposed to do ? Go on and throw myself to PL and forget all about Nic ? WHat if it's not working with him ? I have classes with him, I'm on a team project with him! I would hate to see my semester go bad just because I felt the need to try something new. I'm not even sure he's my type. I'm not even sure he likes me that way.
But damn, he's so cute! I was talking with him this morning and I couldn't even look at him in the face. I was too shy. He made me unconfortable, just by the way he looks! Wow. It's really dumb to get all weirded out for something like this! I really feel like a kid...
I'm seeing Nic tomorrow. In fact, I'm going in TR for the weekend. At first I was thrilled to go, but tonight I just don't feel like it anymore... I'm not sure how to act around him anymore. Maybe I should tell him I'm interested in someone else. We always said that if we met someone new we should tell each other and go for it. After all, we are not a couple... Yeah right. I know I *should* tell him, and I should not go to his house this week end, but I'm just afraid and I'm gonna get tired of PL in the next weeks and that I will lose Nic because of that.
Damn, I don't even know who I like best between those two. It's hard to judge! I've known Nic like the back of my hand for more than three years now, and PL, well, I started talking to him last semester and we spent only a few minutes alone since. I can't evaluate a feeling on a few minutes ! I know I'm not indiferent, but I wasn't indiferent either about my last boyfriend and it didn't turn well at all...